Kitty-napping

Michael K. would be ashamed of me as a blogger and I am sorry that I have not lived up to my own expectations of everyday blogging as I know there are so many of you reading this daily along with Perez and Dlisted... lol.

I have been so terrified of sleeping at night lately. Probably why I have been spending all my hard earned cash at the LCBO. When I turn my lights off all I hear is these mysterious noises in my walls and when I turn them back on, the sound is gone. No, I'm not doing drugs... there is something in my walls - either mice or RATS having a feast.

I have no doubt in my mind that there are fatass rats running around in there like its DisneyLand. B.I.T and I found a humongous one dead under my bathroom sink a month ago and I have been scarred for life. I forced her to rake it up and bag it as my face was sitting in kitchen sink gagging and throwing up from the suicidal vermin.

Anyway, back to the point of this story... I need to get a kitty to scare the pests away. At least it can sleep with me and attack when the mice run across my sheets in the middle of the night doing their usual nocturnal olymics. A few days ago, I was thinking about the adorable obese orange cat next door. I had a scheme to snatch it and borrow it for a night to see what it could catch. I got home from work and just according to plan, the cat was outside in my backyard eating its chicken chunks. I bent down and grabbed it. It didn't even resist meaning that it must have wanted a new owner, and I quickly ran towards my back stairs. The friggin old man neighbour came out back and caught me. I had to come up with a quick excuse why his fluffy cat was in my arms going into my apartment. PHUNG. well he believed me and we both went on with our day.

I need a kitty. or a small dog who doesn't bark and doesn't like to go for walks. If anyone has either for me... I will compensate you with my eternal love.

xo